Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Winter Quarter 2011



Dinner dates
Lunch dates
Space Needle fireworks show
Late night ice cream at Rick's Cafe
Superbowl weekend
Lazer tag
Dimsum
China Town
Korean Mall
Space Needle
Swing dancing
Electric tricycle carriege
All girl's Valetines night
Movies
Hillsong United Concert
Winter Conference at Portland, Oregon
Returning to God
Awesomeness of Allen library
Group studies
Vlogging
Skipping classes
ABC Room
Dress hunting
U Village stroll
Love life-->*poof*
Development of stronger friendships
Meeting new friends
Bus to Bellevue
The Cheesecake Factory
Lots of carrots
Apple a day
Bagels bagels bagels
Cereal for breakfast
No more Top Ramen
Discovery of box noodles
Muffin Thursdays
AAIV Large Group
Re-arrange room
New ride to and from Seattle
Musical play at Emerald Ridge
Skipping down the Ave
Extra credit movie at Fisheries Building
R&B singer down the Ave
"My Favorite Deli" old man's smiles and waves
Security guard letting me pass throug without my ID
Sean's sticky notes
Bartell Drugs mini shopping
Study abroad interview
Change of major
Easy classes
Brown boots
Brown colorscheme
Red coat
Pimple war
Continuation of skin problems
Grooveshark
"Boys Before Flowers" soundtrack
"Bokura Ga Ita" soundtrack
South Campus hangout
Korean choreography
Yiruma
Ratatat
Doubting singing abilities
Rebuking lies from Satan
Gaining confidence in singing abilities
Trusting God with everything

Monday, January 31, 2011

Reality




A sad realization occurred to me yesterday as I sat in the passenger seat of my mom's car singing along Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream." I wouldn't admit it before, but I think it's time to make it official--.....I'm not good at singing. I literally suck. I shamelessly released my frustration out loud to my mother and she didn't disagree. -_-
She tried to make me feel better by reminding me that things change when people get older. Well thanks mom! I really needed that pep talk.

As a child, I was what you would call a "triple threat." But really I was "quadruple threat." I could dance, sing, act, model on demand. One of my earliest childhood memories are of me performing to drunks who sought out entertainment for the night, grandparents eagerly interested in seeing my potential careers in the future, neighbors gathering who found amusement in my spontaneity and eagerness to show my talents. It took me 14 years to realize that I wasn't actually good at any of the said "talents" I thought I had when I was a child. A little depressing, especially since I'm personally seeing the gradual suckiness of my abilities.

I'm not petite, or flawless enough to be a model. I can't act. I have lost my ability to dance, and now, my voice.....my voice isn't even good enough to sing. I can't harmonize, hold a note, ornament tones. My actual voice isn't attractive and not very pleasing to hear. If I don't like my own voice, how do I expect anyone else to like it? Sucky part of growing up #3,167--realizing that you can't even do that most basic and easy talents to pick up. I'm afraid I've lost myself. I lack a distinct (or common) talent in which I can be proud to perform in front of the world, even the drunks in town.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Deja Vu


I just realized, my days are freakishly identical in events, scenery, and people. To explain, I will let you in on my daily routine.

Winter Quarter Daily Routine of a College Student, 2010.

6:00 am - Wake up, turn phone alarm off.

6:01 am - Check to see if someone else is using the bathroom. If yes, go back to bed for 15 more minutes while listening for the sound of people getting out of the bathroom. If not, run in the shower: shampoo for a good 5 minutes, conditioner, leave conditioner on while scrubbing entire body, shave, rinse, dry, get out of the shower.

6:40 am - Wash face

6:43 am - Turn lap top on. Check Facebook. Turn on Grooveshark ("Feel Like Dancing" playlist). Reply to anything important on facebook, usually from cousins in the Philippines.

6:50 am - Get down to business. Make-up time.

7:30 am - Stop make-up. Dry hair, blow dry, curl. Tease. Curl. Re-arrange.

7:55 am - Decide on outfit that goes with make-up and hair.

8:00 am - Get a bowl. Pour cereal. Heat cinnamon raisin bagel for exactly 25 seconds. Pour milk on cereal. Take bagel out of microwave. Go to room to eat. Listen to feel good music.

8:05 am - Brush teeth. Act.

8:10 am - Lather lotion all over body.

8:12 am - Accessories. Curl eyelashes. Make sure everything looks good together.

8:14 am - Dance.

8:17 am - Put on a coat. Grab sack lunch. Phone. Ipod on ears. Lock door.

8:18 am - Out the door.

8:20 am - waiting for that stop light to turn red so I can cross the street.

8:25 am - In Anglo-American Folk Music class. Madeline Wei sits next to me. Say, "Hey, how are you?" or "Whaddup."

8:30 am - Class starts. Ms. Sunardi lectures. I'm intensified by what I'm learning. I lean in closer and closer. I actually rock to the ballads while everyone else is asleep or cringing.

9:20 am - Walk out with Madeline to next class. Talk about the book we were supposed to read for the day.

9:30 am - In English 250. We are in assigned seats. I'm at the very front sitting next to Madeline. Constantly afraid that the old man will spit on me while he's discussing the book. Genuinely interested with what people have to say so I keep looking back at the person talking. I'm anxious the whole time since I have to talk at least once to get my credit for the day. I finally say something. Red in the face. Relieved. Go back to listening to people.

10: 20 am - Bust out my half pound carrots to eat while walking to UW Tower. Listening to music. Feel like a champion for eating vegetables. Have to go through a mob of smokers. Mostly Asians and Middle Easterners. Guy with curly hair is smoking.

10:40 am - Look at the clock. It's 10:40. Yes! I have time to eat. Take out my packed bagel, heat for 20 seconds. Eat while reading a magazine or listening to music (depending on if there's a magazine or not).

10:55 am - start to think about if I should work soon or not. Nah.

11:00 am - Say, "Hey Sean." I get a reply, "Hey Chris, How are you?" I say, "I'm good, how are you?" He says, "I'm good, thanks." Get down to business. Print out cards. Print out replacement cards. Pack stuff. Run credit cards. Audit. Listen to music while auditing. Sneak in Facebook if time allows, or if no one is looking.

1:00 pm - Take out Fuji apple. Rinse. Bite off sticker. Go to elevator. Get out of elevator. Walk down the Ave. Eating apple still. Guy with the curly hair still smoking. ? .... Look at people eating in Chipotle. Get jealous. Throw apple in the nearest disposal. Go to Odegaard to wash hands and put lip gloss on.

1:15 pm - Pick a seat in Oceanography 102. Usually sit in the same spot, 3 rows back, center. Michelle Louie sits either side of me, so does Eric Harris. I say something about work. Say something random. Make them laugh. OR talk about Oceanography.

1:30 pm - class starts. I'm lost.

2:20 pm - Ipod on. Go home. Walk seems like forever miles.

2:30 pm - Turn on computer. Check Facebook. Hungry. Cook. Dance.

3:10 ish pm - Eat.

[miscellaneous stuff: fill out planner, stare off into space, contemplate, remember people who I have to reply back to, Facebook people whom I haven't talked to in a while]

5:00 pm - Homework. Facebook (every other minute).

10:30 pm - Wash face. Brush teeth. Treat pimples. Get ready for bed. Check Facebook one more time.

11:00 pm - Bed.

[Struggling to fall asleep]

11:15 pm - Sleeping.

Do it again.

Everything before 2:20 is absolutely set. But everything after that is completely flexible. I may hang out with friends, attend an appointment, go to extra credits, etc. The reason for me recording this is because I want to have a good idea of what my days look like in this time of my life, as freshman in college. I know that next quarter it will change once again, just like it did last quarter. As time passes by, I will pick up another routine and forget about this one, but for now, I want to reflect upon the seemingly mundane life that I lead. It might be strange to say but I am thankful for this schedule. The fact that my life has a schedule is a blessing in itself.

It's easy to forget about the blessings God gives you when you feel like you must do certain activities. For me, I see it as "I get to.." I get to put on make-up. I get to eat breakfast. I get to go to classes in University of Washington. I get to go to work in UW Alumni Association. I get to have an awesome boss. I get to have friends to sit with during class. I get to do homework because I go to an awesome school. I get to check my facebook. Okay, not that..but seriously, I truly find beauty in the fact that my life is incredibly simple. I have nothing to worry about except for that next midterm I have to rock. For now, I will lavish on this simplicity and enjoy it to the fullest. One day, I will look back and reminisce on the days when all I had to worry about was school and how my pimples just keep multiplying despite my ferocious effort to terminate them all one by one.

This, I realize, is something not everyone appreciates or is consciously aware of. I walk to classes and see the same people, wondering if life for them is just as set as mine. I honestly think I may be one of the few left who actually looks at the horizon and see how beautiful God made the day. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about the here and now (I am walking to my next class, I am walking to my work) and get caught up in the little things. But that's when I look up and see the sky meeting the earth, the construction happening below the bridge and how it reminds me of the Philippines, how the numerous buildings and arched bridge miles away makes me feel like I'm in another country. I smile at that just thinking how incredibly blessed I am to be able to live this life, a life literally billions of people envy. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I'm sure it's just another way of God reminding me how much He truly loves me.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Individuality



I work for the University of Washington Alumni Association. Sounds fancy, but the actual work isn't. I am constantly bombarded with two things I don't like: names and numbers. God is gracious enough to provide me with a job that doesn't require actual math skills, or else I'd literally hypnotize myself before going to work everyday. But more important than the numbers are the names I come across. It's shameful for me to even think it, but to say it out loud is even worse. The fact is,....,....well, I want another name. I know what you're thinking, "Merry Chris Sison is the most amazing name anyone has ever heard of." But I'm just not feeling it. I believe that one’s name should fit a person’s personality or, in the least, fit one’s face.

I was enjoying Dimsum with a few friends on Martin Luther King holiday and one of them said, “I’m sorry Chris, someone just thought you were a boy.” Point proven!

Let me break it down to you. First, "Merry Chris" sounds way too girly for my taste. Everytime it's uttered out of a person's mouth, it literally doesn't make sense to me. I can't identify with the name. Right now, if someone two-feet away from me was yelling "Merry Chris" from the top of their lungs I wouldn't even look. I'd probably think they were singing some unfinished jingle bells song. Second, "Sison" doesn't go with my first name, or any name that I try to pair it with. No one can even pronounce it right. I can't even pronounce it right! Unfortunately, each time I come across an awesome name, I immediately start imagining my life with that name. It's horrible, I know. I should be glad of the name I have. At least it's not "Loveday Conquest," (actual name I came across one day). My only chance now it to marry someone with amazing last name. Something like "Pitt" wouldn't phase me ;) But the real problem is how to stop myself from envying people with “cooler” names than I do. How do I embrace this name of which I don’t find a sense of “me-ness?”