Reality

A sad realization occurred to me yesterday as I sat in the passenger seat of my mom's car singing along Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream." I wouldn't admit it before, but I think it's time to make it official--.....I'm not good at singing. I literally suck. I shamelessly released my frustration out loud to my mother and she didn't disagree. -_-
She tried to make me feel better by reminding me that things change when people get older. Well thanks mom! I really needed that pep talk.

As a child, I was what you would call a "triple threat." But really I was "quadruple threat." I could dance, sing, act, model on demand. One of my earliest childhood memories are of me performing to drunks who sought out entertainment for the night, grandparents eagerly interested in seeing my potential careers in the future, neighbors gathering who found amusement in my spontaneity and eagerness to show my talents. It took me 14 years to realize that I wasn't actually good at any of the said "talents" I thought I had when I was a child. A little depressing, especially since I'm personally seeing the gradual suckiness of my abilities.

I'm not petite, or flawless enough to be a model. I can't act. I have lost my ability to dance, and now, my voice.....my voice isn't even good enough to sing. I can't harmonize, hold a note, ornament tones. My actual voice isn't attractive and not very pleasing to hear. If I don't like my own voice, how do I expect anyone else to like it? Sucky part of growing up #3,167--realizing that you can't even do that most basic and easy talents to pick up. I'm afraid I've lost myself. I lack a distinct (or common) talent in which I can be proud to perform in front of the world, even the drunks in town.